I have found myself recently to be stuck in a way. It is hardly a matter of being able to make a decision, but more as if I feel I am running a marathon through the mud. It is as if every motion requires a calculation; how does turning this wrench help support my final goal? If I stop to take a sip of water, will it set me back? I am watching myself in slow motion.

And yet.

For all that dragging and trudging and weight that holds me down; time is flying. First it was five years since and then seven and now it is near ten. I fear that if I do not force a change soon, it will be twenty years, followed by thirty. I am frozen in place but sliding swiftly into a rose coloured sunset that somehow I never saw.

I carry it all with me, every minute of every day. I’m sure I’m not the only one.