Pain, again. But I knew I’d end up here. I told her we would, and I was right because I know exactly who I am and what I do, and I’ve done it again. I am extremely loyal, in all aspects of my life, to the things that matter most to me. I have now […]
Read more "Lost and Found / Forward, March"I saw a long time friend of the family last week, who I had not seen in quite some time. We talked some, more than we had in the past and certainly more than we had in recent memory. But it was what they said to my brother, who then relayed the following to me: […]
Read more "CLOSER, STILL"Here we are. It was 24 degrees at sunrise this morning, and the sun is still shining. That is quite the contrast to my anniversary here two years ago, when it was gray and raining. I wish I could say I had listened to my own advice, and that I was on a trajectory that […]
Read more "RANGE OF BRIGHTNESS"I have found that while life is a series of decisions, it will move forward regardless of whether I make a choice or not. So I can stall and deflect, procrastinate and draw out these decisions, which I often do, or just make a choice. It is not fear of regret that stops me, but […]
Read more "The Control"I received my greatest compliment recently. In a betrayal of trust, someone close to me discovered my sadness, and the extent of it. When revealing this to me, they simply said “You are really good at hiding it.” I will forever be grateful for being told that. That has always been my goal, always been […]
Read more "Cold Summer"I was watching a show earlier and one of the characters said to his brother “if you’re going to make it work, you’ve got to let go. You’ve got to let go of your past.” That is a difficult one for me. My past is so much of who I am today, and if I […]
Read more "Movement"I do not know why it happens, but every moment of happiness that I endure reminds me that it isn’t for me. That whatever joy or feelings it brings is meant for someone else. That I am an actor, and what I say or do is almost a script, as if I need to convince […]
Read more "Why Do I Always Have to Run?"I thought of writing today and opened this site to find that it was my anniversary…I started here six years ago, today. In the November, my favorite time of year and my favorite place. My home, my saving grace. To me it is just where I belong. It is gray and raining here today, as […]
Read more "If I Should Fall"Listen to piano music, and let it take you somewhere. I wanted to write tonight, but I don’t have much to say. I’ve been thinking a lot about time, because we have so little of it. It just gets away from me, and I hate that. I have things I want to do and things […]
Read more "Key Strokes"This morning, as we stood in the midnight air, we noticed a ring around the moon. “A moon ring,” my companion said. I was informed it happens when crystals in the sky catch light reflected from the moon. Light that has already been reflected from the sun. Recycled light, in a way. I don’t think […]
Read more "22° Halo"
inthenovember 