I want to write. Often. I think about words all day, in between tasks, during tasks, whenever my mind is idled for a brief moment. Most often the words that come are meaningless and lack any sort of character so I disregard them and allow them to float listlessly away. I regret it too; not […]
Read more "Seek"I am doing better in some ways. I am trying to be more disciplined and less distracted. Spending less time on the things that are not important feels better, and spending more time on the things that are important to me is the discipline. Not everything that is important is something I want to do, […]
Read more "Tu Undes Regis"[RANGE OF DARKNESS] Two posts ago, I told you all of these featured photographs are from Alaska, except for the one featured in Range of Brightness (https://inthenovember.com/2023/11/21/range-of-brightness/). I had always wanted to go to Alaska and finally made it there in 2015. It is an incredibly beautiful place, both naturally and in the hardships that […]
Read more "Aperture"I do not know how I allowed it to happen, but November passed right by and I hardly noticed. I told myself nearly every day to write something, anything, so I could feel as though I had accomplished even the smallest of tasks that remind me of the life I intend to live. And the […]
Read more "DECEMBER FOLLOWS"Pain, again. But I knew I’d end up here. I told her we would, and I was right because I know exactly who I am and what I do, and I’ve done it again. I am extremely loyal, in all aspects of my life, to the things that matter most to me. I have now […]
Read more "Lost and Found / Forward, March"I saw a long time friend of the family last week, who I had not seen in quite some time. We talked some, more than we had in the past and certainly more than we had in recent memory. But it was what they said to my brother, who then relayed the following to me: […]
Read more "CLOSER, STILL"Here we are. It was 24 degrees at sunrise this morning, and the sun is still shining. That is quite the contrast to my anniversary here two years ago, when it was gray and raining. I wish I could say I had listened to my own advice, and that I was on a trajectory that […]
Read more "RANGE OF BRIGHTNESS"I have found that while life is a series of decisions, it will move forward regardless of whether I make a choice or not. So I can stall and deflect, procrastinate and draw out these decisions, which I often do, or just make a choice. It is not fear of regret that stops me, but […]
Read more "The Control"I received my greatest compliment recently. In a betrayal of trust, someone close to me discovered my sadness, and the extent of it. When revealing this to me, they simply said “You are really good at hiding it.” I will forever be grateful for being told that. That has always been my goal, always been […]
Read more "Cold Summer"I was watching a show earlier and one of the characters said to his brother “if you’re going to make it work, you’ve got to let go. You’ve got to let go of your past.” That is a difficult one for me. My past is so much of who I am today, and if I […]
Read more "Movement"
