Anxiety is crushing. I’d expand but you either know the feeling or you do not. So anxiety is crushing, but so is gravity. Gravity did not stop us from shooting for the moon did it? It does not stop us from trying to play baseball.

Can you escape gravity? Certainly…just break through the atmosphere. If it sounds like a challenging feat, that is because it is. Although that never stopped us from trying. It took some planning and it took some effort. But it happened, and now we know it can be done. So why is it so difficult to fight this anxiety? Something so small and central and close to us. I know why: because it takes all of your energy and the fight within you and it holds onto it with everything in its power. It is strong within you, but it can be stopped; I know it can.

I know it can be stopped because as strong and severe as it can be, I can find a way to do what I have to do. I feel that I am here for a purpose, as hard as anxiety and depression may try to convince me I have no purpose here, no reason to walk through this world. It tells me I am undeserving. I cannot even disagree, but I have a way around it. I can help someone deserving. Someone out there needs something and I can provide it. Maybe I just have. Maybe I never will. But I’ll keep trying. That is my true occupation. My duty, my obligation, my reason for life.

This new year, do what you have to. More importantly, do it when you have to.

 

Carpe Noctem