Aperture

[RANGE OF DARKNESS] Two posts ago, I told you all of these featured photographs are from Alaska, except for the one featured in Range of Brightness (https://inthenovember.com/2023/11/21/range-of-brightness/). I had always wanted to go to Alaska and finally made it there in 2015. It is an incredibly beautiful place, both naturally and in the hardships that […]

DECEMBER FOLLOWS

I do not know how I allowed it to happen, but November passed right by and I hardly noticed. I told myself nearly every day to write something, anything, so I could feel as though I had accomplished even the smallest of tasks that remind me of the life I intend to live. And the […]

Lost and Found / Forward, March

Pain, again. But I knew I’d end up here. I told her we would, and I was right because I know exactly who I am and what I do, and I’ve done it again. I am extremely loyal, in all aspects of my life, to the things that matter most to me. I have now […]

CLOSER, STILL

I saw a long time friend of the family last week, who I had not seen in quite some time. We talked some, more than we had in the past and certainly more than we had in recent memory. But it was what they said to my brother, who then relayed the following to me: […]

RANGE OF BRIGHTNESS

Here we are. It was 24 degrees at sunrise this morning, and the sun is still shining. That is quite the contrast to my anniversary here two years ago, when it was gray and raining. I wish I could say I had listened to my own advice, and that I was on a trajectory that […]

The Control

I have found that while life is a series of decisions, it will move forward regardless of whether I make a choice or not. So I can stall and deflect, procrastinate and draw out these decisions, which I often do, or just make a choice. It is not fear of regret that stops me, but […]

Cold Summer

I received my greatest compliment recently. In a betrayal of trust, someone close to me discovered my sadness, and the extent of it. When revealing this to me, they simply said “You are really good at hiding it.” I will forever be grateful for being told that. That has always been my goal, always been […]

Movement

I was watching a show earlier and one of the characters said to his brother “if you’re going to make it work, you’ve got to let go. You’ve got to let go of your past.” That is a difficult one for me. My past is so much of who I am today, and if I […]

Why Do I Always Have to Run?

I do not know why it happens, but every moment of happiness that I endure reminds me that it isn’t for me. That whatever joy or feelings it brings is meant for someone else. That I am an actor, and what I say or do is almost a script, as if I need to convince […]

Key Strokes

Listen to piano music, and let it take you somewhere. I wanted to write tonight, but I don’t have much to say. I’ve been thinking a lot about time, because we have so little of it. It just gets away from me, and I hate that. I have things I want to do and things […]